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June 20, 2026

Absurd logic of obedience

It was evening. We were together. I was hoping for something more. Honestly, I'm not even sure what exactly, but when the Master told me a few hours earlier that he was going to take care of me that day... Well. I'd imagined it very differently.

What did this "taking care of me" look like? The Master settled comfortably onto the bed and began issuing commands. Various commands. Strange ones. Meaningless ones. One after another. When he began, I was kneeling – as usual – in nadu. Barely had I completed one command before the next one came.

The first:
– Stand up.
The second:
– Turn your back to me.
The third:
– Kneel.
The next:
– Stand up again.
Then:
– Bara.
Another:
– Nadu.
Yet another:
– Stand on one leg and stay that way until I tell you that's enough.
A different one:
– Bark like a dog.
Then:
– Do five squats.

It went on for about an hour. Some of the commands were repeated from time to time. All of them were equally pointless. After the first few minutes, I began to feel irritated. After a dozen or so minutes, annoyed. By the end, I was genuinely angry and struggling not to show it openly.

The Master would've had to be blind and stupid not to notice. And yet he didn't react. He continued. Meanwhile, I was fighting with myself. My fundamental need to see meaning and purpose in everything I do was sounding every alarm. But I remained silent. I clenched my teeth. I carried out one command after another because he – my Master – was giving them. Outwardly? Without protest. Without questions. But with growing frustration inside. When's this going to end, and what's this even supposed to mean? Why's he doing this? Why are we doing this?

I didn't ask those questions out loud. Instinctively, I sensed that this wasn't the moment for questions. That if I spoke, I'd lose. I didn't know exactly what, or with whom. To him, or to myself? I also knew that I probably wouldn't have received an answer at that moment anyway.

Eventually, silence fell. No new command came. I froze in place. I waited for quite a while. Nothing happened. Finally, I gathered my courage and asked, as calmly and politely as I possibly could:
– Why were you giving me all those commands, Master? Was it some kind of test?
– No. It was a lesson. I am pleased. You carried out every command immediately and without hesitation, despite your reluctance.
– A lesson in what, Master?
– In the fact that a command does not need a purpose in order to have value. The value of a command is obedience itself.

And then I understood. Giving and carrying out commands isn't always about a goal. It's about rhythm. About a state of "yes" that doesn't require justification. Being a slave doesn't simply mean serving. It means serving someone who has the right not to explain. The moment I realize this frees me inwardly more than any logic ever could. All my irritation and anger vanish instantly. I walk over to the Master and kiss his hand.
– Thank you for this lesson, Master – I say.

June 08, 2026

Art of staying with "yes"

Obedience is not merely the art of saying "yes". It is the art of remaining faithful to that "yes" on the days when it would be far easier to say "no".

May 20, 2026

About kajira’s obedience and surrender within a Gorean community

Recently, I wrote about the difference between obedience and surrender. Often, even experienced Masters fail to perceive it. Or rather: they fail to perceive the nuances that arise from this difference. Yet it is crucial, especially in the context of service within a Gorean community. A kajira is, after all, obligated to rational obedience toward all Goreans. But what about surrender and devotion?

If the distinction between obedience and surrender is fundamental in a personal Master – slave relationship, then in service to the Gorean community it becomes even more pronounced. And far more merciless. For while surrender is possible in an individual relationship, within a communal structure it essentially ceases to make sense. It is, in fact, unattainable. At best, it may be attainable toward one or two Masters whom the slave knows well, whom she trusts, with whom she has formed some deeper, friendly bond. But generally? What remains is obedience. And only that.

In a Gorean community, it is difficult to speak of surrender in the same sense in which we speak of it with regard to one specific Master. Surrender presupposes a bond. A relationship. Personal trust, respect, often also emotional attachment, or love, romantic attachment, a sense of meaning derived from being "someone’s". Meanwhile, service to the community means being subordinate to many Free Men at once. Many variables. Many different demands. Sometimes demands that are entirely contradictory in style, character, and expectations. One cannot be surrendered to all. One can only be obedient to the rules, roles, and commands that arise from the function one fulfills.

In this sense, community service is, by definition, stripped of surrender. It is structural. Functional. External. It is based on hierarchy, norms, and procedures, but not on a bond. Not on trust (at least not on equal, deep trust toward everyone). A kajira serving a Master who is a friend of her own Master, or a Master who is a member of the same community to which they both belong, does not give her heart to every Free Man who has the right to issue her a command. She simply carries it out. That is all. Because that is her role. Because the structure requires it. Because that is how the system works. And this is not an accusation. It is a fact.

On Gor, this problem did not exist at all. Slavery and freedom were truly sanctioned legally, socially, and culturally. A kajira’s status was not a matter of choice or an internal process, but an objective fact. Her service to other men did not arise merely from her Master’s expectations, nor from agreements among the Free within the community. Slavery, in principle, was not her choice at all. A kajira was property. Simply that, and nothing more. Her obedience toward the Free required neither a bond, nor surrender, nor psychological justification. She did not need to "trust" anyone in order to kneel. She did not need to love anyone to carry out an order. Law and custom decided everything for her. Authentic surrender or devotion was a luxury, something that happened to a few, not a condition for the functioning of the system.

In contemporary realities, where the law does not sanction slavery and every form of service is fundamentally voluntary, this tension returns with doubled force. In community service, one often expects an attitude that outwardly resembles surrender and devotion: readiness, availability, self-renunciation, submission. But without the promise of a bond. Without a one-on-one relationship. Without any guarantee that the person issuing such or other commands to the slave assumes responsibility for them.

That is why service in a Gorean community rests almost exclusively on obedience. And it must rest on it. On clear rules, roles, procedures, and expectations. On what is measurable and verifiable. On what can be assessed and corrected. Not on the kajira’s inner state. Not on her heart. Not on her sense of meaning. Because these cannot be standardized or controlled.

Community service is not for everyone. Because it requires obedience devoid of surrender. It is a service of heightened risk. For although community leaders should take care that all its members (especially the Free) equally ensure safety and do not mindlessly abuse their position, this does not always succeed.

That is precisely why community service requires the ability to carry out commands even against oneself. A particular level of inner discipline. A perfect ability to suppress internal resistance and reluctance. Often far greater than in the case of serving one specific Master. Without the sense of being "someone’s". Without that intimate axis around which submission is built in a personal relationship. Unless, of course, one serves the community at the command of one’s own Master. Then it is decidedly easier, because maintaining the proper external posture and attitude is supported by the thought: "I am doing this for MY Master".

However, because of this difference, the lack of a bond, for many kajiras it is a barren, draining, and sometimes even destructive experience. Because although they can offer the community obedience, there is no place there for authentic, full, and deep surrender. And the surrender they cannot offer to the community remains unused within them. And service carried out only partially – through obedience, but without surrender – can cause greater inner pain than a complete lack of any possibility to realize oneself in one’s submissive nature.

Does this mean that community service is worse? No. On the mental level, it is simply an experience that is totally different from serving a specific Master. Even if outwardly it comes down to performing the same well-known and mastered tasks. It is more technical. More distanced. More akin to functioning within a corporate structure than to any relationship. It requires from the slave a completely different kind of maturity, different competencies, and a different type of submission. Not the total, existential one. But one that grows out of inner discipline, conscious and – paradoxically – more autonomous.

In service to the community, one does not give oneself. One gives work. Time. Competence. Obedience. And that must be enough. Where surrender is forced without a bond, falsehood appears. Where the heart is expected without a relationship, frustration and abuse are born. Therefore, an honest Gorean community should clearly distinguish between these two things. And not equate obedience with surrender. That would be like claiming that the community can replace a Master. No. It cannot. These are two entirely different dimensions of service.

Community obedience is necessary. Surrender is not. And sometimes it is even undesirable. Because surrender without an addressee falls apart, burns out, or destroys from within. And this is the price one must consciously accept when choosing to serve many rather than one. Not every slave is ready for this. And there is nothing wrong with that. But it is worth being aware of it and speaking about it openly.

May 08, 2026

My "now" and his "no"

He is fucking me. I am already close. Just one more thrust of his hips... And then suddenly, he pulls out of me as violently as he entered. Like he’s been burned. My astonishment mixes with shock. Body and mind cannot keep up. I did not expect this. Not this time. Because never before has Master taken my pleasure away like this, at such a moment.

Meanwhile, he moves away from me. He watches as I writhe desperately in the sheets, because my body clearly has not yet accepted the denial.
– Why should I give you pleasure, when you haven’t fully surrendered to me yet? You still haven’t given me complete control – he muses aloud.
– Please... Master... I... I must... Now... Let me, please – I pant heavily, still writhing on the bed. I want to come so badly I feel like crying. And I do, when he says:
– No. That’s exactly why. But don’t worry. Someday you will earn it. For now, sleep. Goodnight – he says in a gentle, warm tone, stroking my head.

And me? In this moment, I love him and hate him at the same time. And slowly, I fall asleep, sobbing softly from unfulfilled desire, while Master continues to stroke my head tenderly, playing with my hair.

April 25, 2026

The danger I desire

– Do you want to be safe?
– Yes, Master.
– Then go to someone else. I am not safety. I am the danger you crave. Although I will never harm you. To be with me, you must be aware of it and accept it.
– I’m not going anywhere, Master. I love you.