That day, the Master was angry. It was one of those days everyone experiences sometimes and that no one likes. The world had dealt him a hard time. He was fed up with everyone and everything. It was just like that. I was at his place, waiting in his apartment for him to come home from work.
When he finally returned, he didn't say a word. He didn't react to my greeting. He didn't reply. He didn't react to the kiss, nor did he return it. He didn't reject me, though. He simply didn't react in any way. He accepted the words and gesture of my greeting with complete passive indifference. We ate dinner without a word. I felt he needed space for himself and his own thoughts. And I wanted to give him that. After dinner, we each occupied ourselves. And so it went until evening.
After my evening shower, I was reading a book in bed. He came into the bedroom, also bathed. He stood before me in his bathrobe. And then he finally spoke. For the first time since returning from work.
- Nadu - he ordered me in a flat tone, gesturing with his finger to where I was to kneel.
Immediately I put the book down and assumed the desired position. I stared at the floor. And waited. He grabbed the ring on my collar and pulled, tilting my head up.
- Today I need silence. I need some peace and quiet. Tonight you are not my woman. You are not my lover. In fact, you are not even my slave... I order you to remain silent - he said.
- Yes, Master. - I whispered, not daring to look him in the eye.
- Do you know who you are to me today? Or rather... What?
I didn't respond, mindful of my orders to remain silent. I looked up for a second, though, and our eyes met. I immediately lowered them again. A barely perceptible smile crossed his lips.
- You are a thing. My vessel. A vessel for my sperm. Understand? You are not allowed to do anything, you are not allowed to speak, not to make the slightest sound. I don't want to hear you. I want silence. I want some peace and quiet and finally I want to reset. This is what I need today, and this is all I need - he continued.
I nodded. He grabbed me by the hair and lifted me from my knees, throwing me onto the bed. He didn't even bother to consider the position I landed in. Mechanically, brutally, and without any warning or instructions, he spread my legs and entered me. Quickly, brutally, wildly, and painfully, because my body wasn't yet properly prepared for him. At first, I wanted to whimper in pain. Although I managed not to make a sound, he sensed the moment perfectly. He knew my body... It held no secrets from him. And me neither too.
I felt no pleasure, not one bit. Besides, I wasn't supposed to feel any... Things don't feel. And he came inside me. Just when I thought I couldn't hold back a whimper of pain. He looked deep into my eyes, slapping me in the sama time. I saw the wildness in his gaze and felt all the tension drain out of him. How he filled me not only with his semen, but with his entire being.
And paradoxically, that was the most tender thing he could give me. Because he allowed me to bear his burden. He allowed my submission, surrender, and obedience to prove stronger than his anger and everything else. That moment made me realize that my nothingness is my strength.
And now... His peace flows from me. It is my strength. By becoming nothing, I became everything. The awareness of this fact is a source of strength. For me. And through me, for him.
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