Authenticity versus pretense of submission

– What if one day I change my mind and decide to take control, Master?

– That would mean you’re not truly submissive, only playing at submission. That you’re pretending to be someone you’re not.

– Why, Master?

– Because submission is about authenticity. It's about standing face to face with yourself. With all your raw truth, your vulnerability, your perversity. It’s about stripping off all the external narratives you wear for the world. It’s about being real – painfully real.

– And you're the one who undresses me, Master? Mentally, I mean?

– No. You undress yourself. I merely hold up the mirror so you can see all of you. Without the mask. Without the pretending. But I can’t force you to look into it while completely naked. You have to be ready for that. That’s what submission is. And if you’re not ready for it – fully, all the time – then you’re only creating the illusion of submission.

Submission between hurt and truth

It's easy to be a submissive when everything is going our way. The real test begins when disappointment or hurt enters the picture. That is when, under the influence of emotion, it becomes easiest to mistake our own interpretations for facts, losing sight of what actually happened or what was truly said. Simply because assumptions are more convenient than conversation. They allow us to create our own coherent version of reality, one in which everything immediately seems easier to understand. The problem is that it is not necessarily the objective truth. And a relationship is not built on assumptions and speculation, but on conversation and communication. That is why a good kajira does not guess. She learns to ask. Because a single well-placed question can stop an avalanche of misunderstandings, cutting short entire weeks of false assumptions.